1 00:00:00,490 --> 00:00:02,619 - ♪ - _ 2 00:00:02,721 --> 00:00:03,953 Listen up! 3 00:00:04,055 --> 00:00:05,488 Your usual driver's ed teacher 4 00:00:05,590 --> 00:00:08,057 is at the courthouse fighting for his driver's license 5 00:00:08,159 --> 00:00:10,026 due to the fallout from the holiday party. 6 00:00:10,128 --> 00:00:12,329 In his defense, the greatest driver in the world 7 00:00:12,431 --> 00:00:14,864 couldn't have outrun the cops in his condition. 8 00:00:16,134 --> 00:00:17,967 These are your learner's permits. 9 00:00:18,069 --> 00:00:19,502 Before you get them, I need to know 10 00:00:19,604 --> 00:00:22,405 who will be supervising your behind-the-wheel hours. 11 00:00:22,507 --> 00:00:24,708 - Steve? - My dad... Stan. 12 00:00:24,810 --> 00:00:26,543 Ah, yes, dads are great. 13 00:00:26,645 --> 00:00:29,111 Mine was an alcoholic. But the fun kind. 14 00:00:29,214 --> 00:00:31,348 So don't go gettin' all sad on me, Smith. 15 00:00:31,450 --> 00:00:32,515 Next. 16 00:00:33,552 --> 00:00:34,784 Toshi, I'm skipping over you 17 00:00:34,886 --> 00:00:36,553 because you refuse to learn English. 18 00:00:36,655 --> 00:00:37,720 Barry? 19 00:00:37,723 --> 00:00:39,656 My father's name is Dad! 20 00:00:39,758 --> 00:00:41,157 Sounds like a great driver. 21 00:00:41,259 --> 00:00:42,959 And, Snot, who's teaching you? 22 00:00:43,061 --> 00:00:44,961 My dad's no longer with us. 23 00:00:45,063 --> 00:00:48,331 No problem, you got a hot mom... I mean mom. 24 00:00:48,432 --> 00:00:49,798 Redundant much, Brian? 25 00:00:49,901 --> 00:00:51,500 [CHUCKLES] Hot mom. 26 00:00:51,602 --> 00:00:53,635 Your daddy's dead. 27 00:00:53,738 --> 00:00:56,205 You're a freeeak. 28 00:00:56,307 --> 00:00:59,041 ♪ 29 00:00:59,143 --> 00:01:01,110 ♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪ 30 00:01:01,212 --> 00:01:05,014 ♪ I got a feelin' that it's gonna be a wonderful day ♪ 31 00:01:05,116 --> 00:01:08,084 ♪ The sun in the sky has a smile on his face ♪ 32 00:01:08,186 --> 00:01:12,889 ♪ And he's shinin' a salute to the American race ♪ 33 00:01:14,558 --> 00:01:17,826 ♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say ♪ 34 00:01:17,929 --> 00:01:20,429 - ♪ Good... ♪ - ♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪ 35 00:01:20,531 --> 00:01:21,730 Aah! 36 00:01:22,800 --> 00:01:26,167 ♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪ 37 00:01:26,270 --> 00:01:28,370 ♪ 38 00:01:28,472 --> 00:01:32,140 Aww, Schmuley, why you got your head in a poof? 39 00:01:32,242 --> 00:01:34,342 Well, I was in driver's ed today, 40 00:01:34,445 --> 00:01:37,279 and all the other kids are getting their dads to teach them, 41 00:01:37,381 --> 00:01:40,582 and it just reminded me that I don't have a dad... 42 00:01:40,684 --> 00:01:42,618 Driver's ed?! No sir! 43 00:01:42,720 --> 00:01:44,252 Get driving outta your head. 44 00:01:44,354 --> 00:01:45,921 It is too dangerous! 45 00:01:46,023 --> 00:01:47,923 There's the fumes, the tires, 46 00:01:48,025 --> 00:01:50,025 all the people flippin' the bird! 47 00:01:50,127 --> 00:01:52,461 If Dad was here, he'd teach me. 48 00:01:52,563 --> 00:01:56,432 I knew his death would affect my life eventually! 49 00:01:56,534 --> 00:01:59,534 Thanks again for taking me driving, Mr. Tuttle. 50 00:01:59,636 --> 00:02:01,068 And thank you for interrupting me 51 00:02:01,170 --> 00:02:03,304 from cold calling people in the phone book 52 00:02:03,406 --> 00:02:04,806 for human interaction. 53 00:02:04,908 --> 00:02:06,941 Okay, first, you're gonna wanna fasten your seatbelt. 54 00:02:07,043 --> 00:02:11,011 - [SEATBELT CLICKS] - Check your mirrors. 55 00:02:11,113 --> 00:02:13,981 Grip the steering wheel at 10:00 and 2:00. 56 00:02:14,083 --> 00:02:17,819 And now drive to the hospital. I'm having a heart attack. 57 00:02:17,921 --> 00:02:19,253 - What?! - To the hospital. 58 00:02:19,355 --> 00:02:22,323 I know my body, and it is attacking my heart. 59 00:02:22,425 --> 00:02:24,525 - But I don't know how... - Just drive! 60 00:02:24,627 --> 00:02:25,827 [ENGINE REVS, TIRES SCREECH] 61 00:02:25,929 --> 00:02:27,328 I'm going backwards! 62 00:02:27,430 --> 00:02:28,663 That's called reverse. 63 00:02:28,765 --> 00:02:31,198 If I survive, I'll teach you forwards. 64 00:02:31,300 --> 00:02:34,902 Whoa-a-a-a-a... 65 00:02:35,605 --> 00:02:36,971 Boom, bitch. 66 00:02:37,073 --> 00:02:38,840 Don't say "boom bitch" to your father. 67 00:02:38,942 --> 00:02:40,106 It's my learner's permit. 68 00:02:40,208 --> 00:02:41,942 Whaddya say? Will you take me driving? 69 00:02:42,043 --> 00:02:44,177 Uh, I'd love to, but something came up. 70 00:02:44,279 --> 00:02:48,482 And what came up is-z-z-z-z-z... 71 00:02:48,584 --> 00:02:52,719 ...z-z-z-z-z-z-z... 72 00:02:52,821 --> 00:02:57,691 - ...a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a... - ...z-z-z-z-z-z-z... 73 00:02:57,793 --> 00:02:59,292 [ENGINE STARTS] 74 00:02:59,394 --> 00:03:01,361 [TIRES SCREECH] 75 00:03:01,463 --> 00:03:03,663 Haaaayles? 76 00:03:03,765 --> 00:03:06,366 Sorry, Steve. I'm working special detail for Sub Hub. 77 00:03:06,468 --> 00:03:09,135 Driving a truckload of salami down to Florida. 78 00:03:09,237 --> 00:03:10,570 'Sgotta get there or some shit. 79 00:03:10,672 --> 00:03:13,673 But that's perfect. I can drive when you get tired. 80 00:03:13,775 --> 00:03:15,542 [SIGHS] Alright, you can come. 81 00:03:15,644 --> 00:03:17,010 But no bathroom breaks. 82 00:03:17,112 --> 00:03:19,578 You'll pee in a 2007 X Games souvenir cup 83 00:03:19,680 --> 00:03:21,346 like the rest of us. 84 00:03:23,226 --> 00:03:24,291 [TIRES SCREECH] 85 00:03:24,393 --> 00:03:26,227 [GROANS] 86 00:03:27,263 --> 00:03:28,863 It's family only beyond here. 87 00:03:28,965 --> 00:03:30,664 Is this man your father? 88 00:03:30,767 --> 00:03:32,266 No, he's not. 89 00:03:32,368 --> 00:03:33,534 MAN: But I am! 90 00:03:33,636 --> 00:03:34,668 [GASPS] 91 00:03:34,771 --> 00:03:37,038 A man... who knew your father. 92 00:03:37,140 --> 00:03:39,573 - You knew my dad? - Dick Keebler. 93 00:03:39,675 --> 00:03:40,808 Good to meetcha, good to meetcha. 94 00:03:40,910 --> 00:03:42,543 Sorry 'bout my sweaty-ass hand. 95 00:03:42,645 --> 00:03:43,711 I got hyperhidrosis. 96 00:03:43,813 --> 00:03:44,979 Feels normal to me... 97 00:03:45,081 --> 00:03:46,981 I also got hyperglycemia, hypertension, 98 00:03:47,083 --> 00:03:48,349 and I'm a hypochondriac. 99 00:03:48,451 --> 00:03:50,351 Doctor says that's the one that's gonna get me. 100 00:03:50,453 --> 00:03:52,987 Pff. Hey, you think I could dig up an MRI 101 00:03:53,089 --> 00:03:54,688 in this joint without talking to anyone? 102 00:03:54,791 --> 00:03:55,857 I don't think so. 103 00:03:55,959 --> 00:03:57,558 Were you gonna talk about my dad? 104 00:03:57,660 --> 00:03:59,326 Pff. I was his co-pilot. 105 00:03:59,428 --> 00:04:00,694 My dad was a pilot? 106 00:04:00,796 --> 00:04:02,863 Nah. On the demolition derby circuit. 107 00:04:02,965 --> 00:04:04,732 Cars. Ever heard of 'em? Pff. 108 00:04:04,833 --> 00:04:06,233 C'mon, I'll tell you about your dad. 109 00:04:06,335 --> 00:04:08,669 Fun fact... We were blood brothers. 110 00:04:08,771 --> 00:04:10,237 I gave him hepatitis. 111 00:04:10,339 --> 00:04:12,806 His eyes were the color of mustard. 112 00:04:12,908 --> 00:04:15,041 ROGER: Lanceton Raceway Park. 113 00:04:15,144 --> 00:04:18,111 Home to the demolition derby and the weekly swap meet. 114 00:04:18,213 --> 00:04:21,181 No matter the year, it's always the '70s there. 115 00:04:21,284 --> 00:04:23,651 Your dad, Lonny, drove the Red Rammer. 116 00:04:23,753 --> 00:04:25,085 Damn car was unstoppable. 117 00:04:25,187 --> 00:04:26,487 Pssh. Famous too. 118 00:04:26,589 --> 00:04:28,855 It was in the movie "Mother, Jugs and Speed." 119 00:04:28,957 --> 00:04:30,391 SNOT: I... haven't seen that. 120 00:04:30,493 --> 00:04:33,193 It was the car that ran that bus full of nuns off the road. 121 00:04:33,296 --> 00:04:35,262 [LAUGHS] Betcha remember that scene. 122 00:04:35,364 --> 00:04:37,864 No, I... I haven't seen it... 123 00:04:37,966 --> 00:04:39,065 Good stuff, you remember. 124 00:04:39,168 --> 00:04:40,701 Mr. Keebler, I'm sorry, 125 00:04:40,803 --> 00:04:42,068 but this guy you're describing 126 00:04:42,171 --> 00:04:44,270 doesn't sound like the dad I never knew. 127 00:04:44,372 --> 00:04:47,873 Pssh. The way I saw you haulin' ass in reverse, derby style? 128 00:04:47,975 --> 00:04:49,442 You're Lonny's kid, alright. 129 00:04:49,544 --> 00:04:50,810 Pff. Derby's in your blood. 130 00:04:50,912 --> 00:04:53,946 Derby racing. In my blood. 131 00:04:54,048 --> 00:04:55,481 Surprised you don't know about him. 132 00:04:55,583 --> 00:04:57,350 Didn't he leave you the Red Rammer when he croaked? 133 00:04:57,452 --> 00:04:59,885 All I've got of my dad's is a huge shoe 134 00:04:59,987 --> 00:05:02,355 I found in the garage that I think was his. 135 00:05:02,457 --> 00:05:04,023 I wear it around the house sometimes 136 00:05:04,125 --> 00:05:06,793 and pretend I have one really big foot. 137 00:05:06,894 --> 00:05:08,027 It's lame, I know. 138 00:05:08,129 --> 00:05:09,395 Nah, that's normal. 139 00:05:09,497 --> 00:05:11,230 I wear my dead mom's heels around the house 140 00:05:11,333 --> 00:05:13,032 and pretend I have a big ol' vagina. 141 00:05:13,134 --> 00:05:14,900 - Pff. - Was my dad any good? 142 00:05:15,002 --> 00:05:16,068 The best. 143 00:05:16,170 --> 00:05:17,537 He was always slammin' into everybody. 144 00:05:17,639 --> 00:05:18,671 That sounds bad. 145 00:05:18,673 --> 00:05:20,105 Nah, that's how you win. 146 00:05:20,208 --> 00:05:21,907 Destroy the other cars. 147 00:05:22,009 --> 00:05:23,575 I was your dad's spotter... 148 00:05:23,677 --> 00:05:24,909 his eyes and ears out there. 149 00:05:25,011 --> 00:05:25,744 [GLASS SHATTERS] 150 00:05:25,846 --> 00:05:26,911 Car! 151 00:05:27,013 --> 00:05:28,179 [GLASS SHATTERS] 152 00:05:28,281 --> 00:05:30,349 - Car! - [GLASS SHATTERS] 153 00:05:30,451 --> 00:05:32,484 - Car! - [THUD] 154 00:05:32,586 --> 00:05:34,720 Holy crap! There she is! 155 00:05:34,822 --> 00:05:36,722 Can we just stay focused on my dad? 156 00:05:36,824 --> 00:05:38,523 Right, right. We never lost. 157 00:05:38,625 --> 00:05:40,291 But I lost... 158 00:05:40,394 --> 00:05:42,661 Lost control of my blood sugar... 159 00:05:42,763 --> 00:05:46,431 ♪ 160 00:05:46,533 --> 00:05:48,099 ROGER: Your dad put his foot on the dash 161 00:05:48,201 --> 00:05:49,801 to do his signature move, 162 00:05:49,903 --> 00:05:51,703 the Skidrokyo Drift. 163 00:05:51,805 --> 00:05:52,738 [TIRES SCREECH] 164 00:05:52,840 --> 00:05:54,239 [BANG] 165 00:05:54,341 --> 00:05:55,707 ♪ 166 00:05:55,809 --> 00:05:57,141 And my blood sugar was tanking. 167 00:05:57,244 --> 00:05:59,244 Did I mention I'm also diabetic? 168 00:05:59,346 --> 00:06:00,978 Seven doctors said it's all in my head. 169 00:06:01,080 --> 00:06:03,981 Pff. I didn't even know there was brain diabetes. 170 00:06:04,083 --> 00:06:04,948 [ENGINE REVS] 171 00:06:05,050 --> 00:06:08,352 [MUFFLED SHOUTING] 172 00:06:08,454 --> 00:06:09,119 [BANG, GLASS SHATTERS] 173 00:06:09,221 --> 00:06:10,654 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 174 00:06:10,757 --> 00:06:12,289 Lonny injured his neck so bad, 175 00:06:12,392 --> 00:06:14,992 he couldn't turn his head to the right to drive in reverse. 176 00:06:15,094 --> 00:06:16,694 - SNOT: So he had to quit. - Nope. 177 00:06:16,796 --> 00:06:18,262 Went to England to race. 178 00:06:18,364 --> 00:06:20,531 Steering wheels are on the other side over there. Pff. 179 00:06:20,633 --> 00:06:23,200 - So that's why he left us. - [MRI BEEPING] 180 00:06:23,302 --> 00:06:26,404 Mr. Keebler, I'd like to know more about my dad. 181 00:06:26,506 --> 00:06:28,606 - Pff. - Is "Pff" a bad thing? 182 00:06:28,708 --> 00:06:29,807 - [WHIRS] - It can be. 183 00:06:29,809 --> 00:06:31,074 That was a good one, though. 184 00:06:31,176 --> 00:06:32,976 I'm gonna do more than tell you about your dad, 185 00:06:33,078 --> 00:06:34,978 I'm gonna teach you to be like him. 186 00:06:35,080 --> 00:06:36,614 Teach you how to derby. 187 00:06:36,716 --> 00:06:38,648 This is gonna be so cool! 188 00:06:38,750 --> 00:06:40,784 I'll bring Dad's big shoe! 189 00:06:40,886 --> 00:06:42,819 Pff. That was a bad "Pff." 190 00:06:42,922 --> 00:06:44,821 Shoe stays at home. Pff. 191 00:06:44,924 --> 00:06:46,556 That one means I'm thirsty. 192 00:06:46,658 --> 00:06:48,125 [BIRDS CHIRPING] 193 00:06:48,227 --> 00:06:49,559 - [RADIO CRACKLES] - This is Headband Dynamite, 194 00:06:49,661 --> 00:06:52,095 I'm sittin' bumpy at a cardboard red Popsicle, over. 195 00:06:52,197 --> 00:06:54,697 MAN: [THROUGH CB RADIO] That is a big 10-4, Headband! 196 00:06:54,800 --> 00:06:56,800 Pavement Pouncer here, over! 197 00:06:56,902 --> 00:06:58,068 Whoa, this works? 198 00:06:58,170 --> 00:06:59,636 I was just goofin'! 199 00:06:59,738 --> 00:07:00,938 Hayley?! 200 00:07:01,040 --> 00:07:03,106 It says that the salami we're transporting 201 00:07:03,208 --> 00:07:04,541 is highly explosive! 202 00:07:04,643 --> 00:07:06,009 Well, the chemicals in the preservatives 203 00:07:06,111 --> 00:07:07,344 are pretty volatile. 204 00:07:07,446 --> 00:07:09,246 And all that salami's loose back there, 205 00:07:09,348 --> 00:07:11,514 just slices floppin' around. 206 00:07:11,616 --> 00:07:12,682 Super illegal. 207 00:07:13,345 --> 00:07:14,684 But if you think about it, 208 00:07:14,786 --> 00:07:18,387 aren't we all just loose slices floppin' around? 209 00:07:18,489 --> 00:07:22,091 Uh... take 193 South. 210 00:07:22,193 --> 00:07:24,026 Nope. Gotta do all back roads. 211 00:07:24,128 --> 00:07:26,028 Can't risk getting pulled over. 212 00:07:26,130 --> 00:07:28,230 Plus, we get to hit up some rural strip clubs. 213 00:07:28,333 --> 00:07:29,932 Those backwoods beauties have 214 00:07:30,034 --> 00:07:31,867 bushes that'll knock your teeth out. 215 00:07:31,970 --> 00:07:33,035 [HORN BLARES] 216 00:07:33,137 --> 00:07:34,971 [TIRES HISS] 217 00:07:35,073 --> 00:07:37,573 ♪ 218 00:07:37,675 --> 00:07:39,175 Schmuley, you're back! 219 00:07:39,277 --> 00:07:41,177 I was so worried about you. 220 00:07:41,279 --> 00:07:43,946 Worried I'd find out Dad was a derby driver? 221 00:07:44,048 --> 00:07:45,414 [GASPS] Keebla. 222 00:07:45,516 --> 00:07:47,549 That's right, it was Keebler! 223 00:07:47,651 --> 00:07:50,486 And I'm finally hearing stories about Dad! 224 00:07:50,588 --> 00:07:52,054 Which I never get from you! 225 00:07:52,156 --> 00:07:54,290 I don't want you hanging out with that Keebla. 226 00:07:54,392 --> 00:07:56,525 I'm doing more than hanging out with him. 227 00:07:56,627 --> 00:07:58,760 I'm learning to drive from him. 228 00:07:58,863 --> 00:08:01,162 [CAR HORN PLAYS "LA CUCARACHA" IN DISTANCE] 229 00:08:01,264 --> 00:08:05,901 I think we can all guess whose horn that is. 230 00:08:06,003 --> 00:08:07,035 [DOOR OPENS, SLAMS] 231 00:08:07,137 --> 00:08:10,772 [HORN CONTINUES] 232 00:08:10,875 --> 00:08:12,307 Welcome to my Miata. 233 00:08:12,409 --> 00:08:14,843 This is James. James, Snot. 234 00:08:14,945 --> 00:08:16,512 I'm driving for Uber Two-Seater. 235 00:08:16,614 --> 00:08:19,114 And before you say that's not a thing, it's not. 236 00:08:19,216 --> 00:08:20,549 Way to go, James, you blew it. 237 00:08:20,651 --> 00:08:24,452 Kid saw right through you. Just get out. 238 00:08:24,555 --> 00:08:25,787 - See you tomorrow, James! - [ENGINE STARTS] 239 00:08:25,890 --> 00:08:27,455 I know it's not a great first impression, 240 00:08:27,558 --> 00:08:29,591 but what do you think of James? 241 00:08:31,679 --> 00:08:34,308 So this is Raceway Park. 242 00:08:34,411 --> 00:08:36,310 Where my dad used to derby. 243 00:08:36,413 --> 00:08:38,812 Yep. And he used to do his derbyin' 244 00:08:38,915 --> 00:08:40,448 with the Derby Donkeys. 245 00:08:40,550 --> 00:08:43,817 Hey, Donkeys, this here's Lonny Lonstein's poo stain. 246 00:08:43,920 --> 00:08:45,353 [SNIFFS] 247 00:08:45,455 --> 00:08:49,823 Well, I'll be, stinks just like Lonny! 248 00:08:49,926 --> 00:08:50,991 Just like Lonny. 249 00:08:51,094 --> 00:08:53,094 Got Lonny's ugly smile too! 250 00:08:53,196 --> 00:08:54,529 Ugly smile too. 251 00:08:54,630 --> 00:08:56,330 'Course, Lonny didn't repeat everything 252 00:08:56,433 --> 00:08:58,832 like some damn trick bird. 253 00:08:58,935 --> 00:09:00,868 Let's get away from this guy. 254 00:09:00,970 --> 00:09:03,803 So, kid, if I'm gonna train ya, we're gonna need a car. 255 00:09:03,905 --> 00:09:04,971 You really don't know 256 00:09:05,074 --> 00:09:06,440 what happened to the Red Rammer, huh? 257 00:09:06,542 --> 00:09:08,308 No idea. 258 00:09:08,410 --> 00:09:11,078 Wh-What's happening? I thought we were gonna train. 259 00:09:11,180 --> 00:09:13,346 Soon, soon. Need a little sex first. 260 00:09:13,449 --> 00:09:15,348 Hold my clothes like your daddy used to. 261 00:09:15,451 --> 00:09:17,350 I won't make it 10 feet in this garage 262 00:09:17,453 --> 00:09:19,652 before I'm deep-doggin' a derby daisy. 263 00:09:20,822 --> 00:09:23,490 SNOT: [MUFFLED] Whoa. Big hat. 264 00:09:23,592 --> 00:09:26,126 [BIRDS CHIRPING] 265 00:09:27,696 --> 00:09:30,330 [GRUNTING] 266 00:09:34,470 --> 00:09:35,568 Good. You're still here. 267 00:09:35,669 --> 00:09:37,536 'Cause you haven't started training me! 268 00:09:37,638 --> 00:09:39,405 You've been having sex all night... 269 00:09:39,507 --> 00:09:41,107 Oh, you heard that, did you? 270 00:09:41,209 --> 00:09:43,409 [EXHALES] I can get pretty loud. 271 00:09:43,511 --> 00:09:45,677 C'mon. Now it's time. 272 00:09:45,779 --> 00:09:48,114 - [KEYBOARD CLACKING] - [WHISPERING] I thought you said it was time. 273 00:09:48,216 --> 00:09:50,616 Soon, soon. Just havin' a look at WebMD. 274 00:09:50,718 --> 00:09:53,586 Pretty sure I caught something last night. 275 00:09:55,256 --> 00:09:56,722 Does this look like the picture? 276 00:09:56,824 --> 00:09:58,157 Jesus! 277 00:09:58,259 --> 00:10:01,193 Alright, time to earn your learner's permit. 278 00:10:01,295 --> 00:10:03,229 STEVE: You want me to drive now?! 279 00:10:03,331 --> 00:10:07,433 It's driving, just have fun with it. 280 00:10:07,535 --> 00:10:09,200 [GEAR CRANKS] 281 00:10:09,302 --> 00:10:11,569 [WHEELS HISS] 282 00:10:11,671 --> 00:10:14,071 [WOOD CREAKING] 283 00:10:14,174 --> 00:10:17,074 [CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY] Th-This isn't so bad. 284 00:10:17,177 --> 00:10:19,076 [BIRDS CHIRPING, WOOD CREAKING] 285 00:10:19,179 --> 00:10:21,979 Steve, there's a chipmunk gnawing! 286 00:10:22,081 --> 00:10:23,414 [GNAWS] 287 00:10:23,517 --> 00:10:24,015 [WHIMPERS] 288 00:10:24,117 --> 00:10:25,383 [ENGINE REVS] 289 00:10:27,587 --> 00:10:28,620 [GNAWS] 290 00:10:28,721 --> 00:10:30,622 [SCREECHES] 291 00:10:30,723 --> 00:10:32,056 Oh. 292 00:10:32,992 --> 00:10:34,392 Oh, no! 293 00:10:34,494 --> 00:10:36,528 [HAWK CRIES, BEAR GROWLS] 294 00:10:36,630 --> 00:10:38,163 Oh, thank God. 295 00:10:38,265 --> 00:10:39,664 What the hell?! 296 00:10:39,766 --> 00:10:40,898 [GROANS] 297 00:10:41,000 --> 00:10:42,300 I'm saved! 298 00:10:42,402 --> 00:10:43,467 [GRUNTING] 299 00:10:43,569 --> 00:10:46,070 Why does everyone hate this rope so much?! 300 00:10:46,172 --> 00:10:48,105 [ENGINE REVS, TIRES SCREECH] 301 00:10:48,207 --> 00:10:50,675 If this cone was a car, you'd've smashed it. 302 00:10:50,777 --> 00:10:54,111 It's no Rammer, but you're gonna kick ass in the Miata Masher. 303 00:10:54,213 --> 00:10:57,081 You haven't even taught me the Skidrokyo Drift. 304 00:10:57,183 --> 00:10:59,021 You really think I'm ready to derby? 305 00:10:59,056 --> 00:11:00,951 'Bout fifty-fifty. Maybe fofty-fofty. 306 00:11:01,054 --> 00:11:03,520 But fofty-fofty's not a real number... 307 00:11:03,622 --> 00:11:05,489 Yeah, okay, then I'll say fifty-fifty. 308 00:11:07,994 --> 00:11:09,727 Vespa's been ridin' my ass. 309 00:11:09,829 --> 00:11:11,162 [TIRES SCREECH] 310 00:11:11,263 --> 00:11:14,031 [TAP] 311 00:11:14,133 --> 00:11:15,399 [BIRDS CHIRPING] 312 00:11:15,501 --> 00:11:17,734 Wheels are shot and the front fell! Pff. 313 00:11:17,836 --> 00:11:18,902 What about the derby?! 314 00:11:19,004 --> 00:11:21,305 Can't do it without a car. 315 00:11:21,407 --> 00:11:24,641 Okay, guy, let's see your insurance info. 316 00:11:24,743 --> 00:11:26,643 Uh-huh. 317 00:11:26,745 --> 00:11:28,312 Uh, do you wanna give me yours? 318 00:11:28,414 --> 00:11:31,315 My insurance is that I now know where you live. 319 00:11:31,417 --> 00:11:34,150 And if I get so much as one phone call from GEICO, 320 00:11:34,253 --> 00:11:36,119 I will burn your house to the ground 321 00:11:36,222 --> 00:11:38,988 429 Shippey Lane... [STAMMERS] 322 00:11:39,091 --> 00:11:40,524 Wait, 492? 323 00:11:40,626 --> 00:11:42,926 Shippey doesn't sound right, either... 324 00:11:43,028 --> 00:11:44,160 No! 325 00:11:44,263 --> 00:11:45,195 [PANTING] 326 00:11:45,297 --> 00:11:47,097 Something's zapping me. 327 00:11:47,199 --> 00:11:47,898 [KEYBOARD CLACKING] 328 00:11:47,961 --> 00:11:49,700 Well, Snot, the results are in. 329 00:11:49,801 --> 00:11:52,435 Your old pal's got the Muscular Dystrophy. 330 00:11:52,537 --> 00:11:54,270 How about instead of looking up symptoms 331 00:11:54,372 --> 00:11:56,106 we find another derby car? 332 00:11:56,208 --> 00:11:58,141 That's a great idea, why don't you try to find 333 00:11:58,243 --> 00:12:00,576 the Red Rammer like I've been telling you to! 334 00:12:00,678 --> 00:12:04,147 Dick, I gotta remind you to keep your voice down. 335 00:12:04,249 --> 00:12:05,715 [HUSHED] I got the dystrophy, Barbara. 336 00:12:05,817 --> 00:12:07,183 I got the dystrophy! 337 00:12:07,285 --> 00:12:08,998 [NORMAL VOICE] And this one won't find the Red Rammer 338 00:12:09,033 --> 00:12:09,685 like I've been tellin' him. 339 00:12:09,788 --> 00:12:14,523 In any case, [HUSHED] if you could just... 340 00:12:14,626 --> 00:12:16,860 Now you're getting me in trouble with Barbara. 341 00:12:16,962 --> 00:12:19,495 ♪ 342 00:12:19,597 --> 00:12:21,530 There you are! I've been worried sick! 343 00:12:21,633 --> 00:12:23,967 Mom, do you know what happened to the Red Rammer? 344 00:12:24,069 --> 00:12:25,367 It's gone. 345 00:12:25,469 --> 00:12:27,469 So you do know what happened to it. 346 00:12:27,571 --> 00:12:29,451 And you're never gonna find it. 347 00:12:29,486 --> 00:12:30,942 - Oh, yeah?! - Yeah! 348 00:12:31,008 --> 00:12:31,940 - Yeah? - Yeah! 349 00:12:31,942 --> 00:12:32,941 - Yeah? - Yeah! 350 00:12:32,943 --> 00:12:33,942 - Yeah? - Yeah! 351 00:12:33,944 --> 00:12:35,077 [YELLS] 352 00:12:35,179 --> 00:12:36,879 [TABLE THUDS] 353 00:12:39,650 --> 00:12:41,283 What the? 354 00:12:44,321 --> 00:12:47,389 [CLOCK TICKS] 355 00:12:47,524 --> 00:12:49,892 Schmuley, just take it easy. 356 00:12:49,994 --> 00:12:51,894 Let's listen to some music. 357 00:12:51,996 --> 00:12:54,629 [RADIO PLAYS] 358 00:12:54,731 --> 00:12:56,832 I can't believe you. 359 00:12:58,669 --> 00:13:00,067 How did I not see... 360 00:13:00,170 --> 00:13:01,202 Schmuley, please! 361 00:13:01,304 --> 00:13:02,903 You chopped up the Rammer! 362 00:13:03,005 --> 00:13:07,240 This is all Dad left me, and you chopped it up! 363 00:13:07,342 --> 00:13:09,810 I did what I had to do to keep this family... 364 00:13:09,912 --> 00:13:12,545 and this house... from falling apart! 365 00:13:12,647 --> 00:13:15,816 All you ever tell me about Dad is the bad things. 366 00:13:15,918 --> 00:13:20,753 But he was a derby-driving, Keebler clothes-holdin' badass. 367 00:13:20,856 --> 00:13:23,489 [CRIES] 368 00:13:24,026 --> 00:13:25,926 [THUNDER RUMBLES] 369 00:13:26,028 --> 00:13:28,494 [CRIES] 370 00:13:29,231 --> 00:13:31,698 [WINDOWS SQUEAKING] 371 00:13:32,803 --> 00:13:34,753 _ 372 00:13:35,304 --> 00:13:36,768 We're actually gonna make it! 373 00:13:36,871 --> 00:13:39,771 [SIREN WAILS] 374 00:13:39,874 --> 00:13:41,606 Oh, God! 375 00:13:44,712 --> 00:13:46,478 Just be cool, I'll take care of this. 376 00:13:46,580 --> 00:13:48,714 Hi, Officer, what seems to be the problem? 377 00:13:48,816 --> 00:13:52,451 Y'all two Yankee Childs wouldn't be haulin' contraband 378 00:13:52,553 --> 00:13:55,054 luncheon meat through my county now, would ya? 379 00:13:55,156 --> 00:13:56,722 What?! No. 380 00:13:56,824 --> 00:13:59,258 I don't know which smell is stronger, 381 00:13:59,360 --> 00:14:01,460 bullshit or salami... 382 00:14:01,562 --> 00:14:03,095 [QUIETLY] No, do it the other way. 383 00:14:03,197 --> 00:14:05,297 [NORMAL VOICE] I don't know which smell is stronger, 384 00:14:05,399 --> 00:14:07,900 salami or bullshit. 385 00:14:08,002 --> 00:14:09,801 [QUIETLY] Much better, good job, you did good, good boy. 386 00:14:09,904 --> 00:14:12,771 [NORMAL VOICE] Now open the back of the truck. 387 00:14:12,873 --> 00:14:16,307 Well, I guess I'm opening the truck now... 388 00:14:16,410 --> 00:14:25,517 ♪ 389 00:14:25,619 --> 00:14:28,052 Please, don't make me do this. 390 00:14:28,154 --> 00:14:30,088 STATE TROOPER: Whaddya waitin' for? 391 00:14:30,190 --> 00:14:33,525 ♪ 392 00:14:33,627 --> 00:14:37,562 Uh... it's just that it's... so hot. 393 00:14:37,664 --> 00:14:40,665 Missy, if you think that is gonna... 394 00:14:41,702 --> 00:14:45,469 [HIGH-PITCHED] Owie wowie, baby wants mommy, 395 00:14:45,571 --> 00:14:47,738 [PANTING] make it dirty! 396 00:14:47,840 --> 00:14:49,673 [HORN BLARES] 397 00:14:49,776 --> 00:14:50,875 Oh, thank God. 398 00:14:50,976 --> 00:14:52,443 [MUFFLED GUNSHOTS] 399 00:14:52,545 --> 00:14:54,845 [JEFF SOBS] 400 00:14:54,947 --> 00:14:57,581 What have I done?! 401 00:14:59,652 --> 00:15:01,685 So, what's on the itinerary? 402 00:15:01,788 --> 00:15:04,354 A little rat chasing in the ol' garage? 403 00:15:04,457 --> 00:15:07,257 No, Barry. We're rebuilding my dad's car. 404 00:15:07,359 --> 00:15:10,394 Alright, but if I find a rat, I'm still eatin' it. 405 00:15:10,496 --> 00:15:13,931 [THE IDES OF MARCH'S "VEHICLE" PLAYS] 406 00:15:14,033 --> 00:15:18,769 ♪ 407 00:15:18,871 --> 00:15:22,405 ♪ Hey, well, I'm the friendly stranger in the black sedan ♪ 408 00:15:22,507 --> 00:15:24,674 ♪ Won't 'cha hop inside my car? ♪ 409 00:15:24,776 --> 00:15:26,976 ♪ I got pictures, I got candy, I'm a lovable man ♪ 410 00:15:27,078 --> 00:15:29,378 ♪ And I can take you to the nearest star ♪ 411 00:15:29,481 --> 00:15:31,648 ♪ I'm your vehicle, baby ♪ 412 00:15:31,750 --> 00:15:34,150 ♪ I can take you anywhere you wanna go ♪ 413 00:15:34,252 --> 00:15:36,553 ♪ I'm your vehicle, woman ♪ 414 00:15:36,655 --> 00:15:38,721 ♪ By that, I'm sure you know ♪ 415 00:15:38,824 --> 00:15:40,256 - ♪ That I love ya ♪ - ♪ Love ya ♪ 416 00:15:40,358 --> 00:15:41,691 - ♪ I need ya ♪ - ♪ Need ya ♪ 417 00:15:41,793 --> 00:15:44,060 ♪ I wants ya, gots to have you, child ♪ 418 00:15:44,162 --> 00:15:49,031 ♪ Great God in heaven, you know I love you ♪ 419 00:15:49,133 --> 00:15:54,570 ♪ 420 00:15:54,672 --> 00:15:57,340 ♪ Well, if you wants to be a movie star ♪ 421 00:15:57,442 --> 00:16:00,676 [ENGINE REVS, TIRES SCREECH] 422 00:16:00,778 --> 00:16:01,944 [CHEERING] 423 00:16:02,046 --> 00:16:04,646 ♪ You know, I think you really should ♪ 424 00:16:04,748 --> 00:16:06,582 ♪ I'm your vehicle, baby ♪ 425 00:16:06,684 --> 00:16:10,186 You found her... and she's beautiful. 426 00:16:10,288 --> 00:16:11,653 M-May I? 427 00:16:11,755 --> 00:16:13,422 Sure. 428 00:16:14,325 --> 00:16:15,257 [ENGINE REVS] 429 00:16:15,360 --> 00:16:16,592 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah! 430 00:16:16,694 --> 00:16:19,628 I'm stealing the Rammer. Pff. 431 00:16:19,730 --> 00:16:23,065 Keebler, you dirty thief! 432 00:16:23,167 --> 00:16:26,302 Come back with my daddy's car! 433 00:16:26,404 --> 00:16:29,770 [SOBS] 434 00:16:29,873 --> 00:16:33,441 - Mom? - Dry those tears, my beautiful baby boy. 435 00:16:33,543 --> 00:16:35,110 We're getting the Rammer back. 436 00:16:35,212 --> 00:16:36,544 Oh, wow! 437 00:16:36,646 --> 00:16:38,380 I just have to drop this Tupperware off 438 00:16:38,482 --> 00:16:39,647 at Mrs. Amendola's house. 439 00:16:39,749 --> 00:16:41,916 I've had it forever, it's on the way, 440 00:16:42,019 --> 00:16:43,418 don't make a face. 441 00:16:47,992 --> 00:16:51,248 That damn Keebla stole your car and half my house! 442 00:16:51,351 --> 00:16:53,317 And my trust in strangers! 443 00:16:53,419 --> 00:16:55,319 Get him, Mom! 444 00:16:55,420 --> 00:16:56,820 - [TIRES SCREECH] - Hey, Donkeys! 445 00:16:56,922 --> 00:16:58,488 I've got a dingleberry danglin'! 446 00:16:58,590 --> 00:17:00,423 Get 'em off my tail! 447 00:17:02,394 --> 00:17:04,328 Let's roll! 448 00:17:04,429 --> 00:17:05,662 [SCREAMS] 449 00:17:05,764 --> 00:17:08,332 No! 450 00:17:08,433 --> 00:17:10,167 Get it together, Derrick. 451 00:17:10,269 --> 00:17:12,069 Keebler needs us. 452 00:17:12,171 --> 00:17:14,838 Woo-hoo! 453 00:17:14,940 --> 00:17:19,009 No! 454 00:17:19,111 --> 00:17:23,813 ♪ 455 00:17:23,916 --> 00:17:25,682 [TIRES SCREECH] 456 00:17:27,318 --> 00:17:28,985 Mom, you gotta hit him back! 457 00:17:29,087 --> 00:17:31,453 I can't do it! You take the wheel. 458 00:17:31,555 --> 00:17:33,489 What?! 459 00:17:33,591 --> 00:17:35,358 You were born to drive. 460 00:17:35,459 --> 00:17:36,859 I tried to deny it, 'cause I didn't want 461 00:17:36,961 --> 00:17:39,228 to lose you to that damn derby. 462 00:17:39,330 --> 00:17:42,698 But I don't have to worry because you're not your dad. 463 00:17:42,800 --> 00:17:45,834 Now be your dad and smash these fools! 464 00:17:47,605 --> 00:17:49,405 They're coming up on both sides! 465 00:17:49,507 --> 00:17:51,207 Car! Car! 466 00:17:51,309 --> 00:17:52,441 [TIRES SCREECH] 467 00:17:52,543 --> 00:17:57,112 ♪ 468 00:17:57,214 --> 00:18:00,481 Wow, Schmuley, you've really got a knock for... 469 00:18:00,583 --> 00:18:03,518 On your six! 470 00:18:03,620 --> 00:18:05,653 Mom, you sound like a spotter. 471 00:18:05,755 --> 00:18:08,423 I was your fatha's first spotter, before Keebla. 472 00:18:08,525 --> 00:18:09,757 - You? - [CLATTERING] 473 00:18:09,859 --> 00:18:11,159 Yeah, but when I got pregnant... 474 00:18:11,261 --> 00:18:12,360 You had to hang it up. 475 00:18:12,462 --> 00:18:13,561 Yeah. 476 00:18:13,663 --> 00:18:15,496 Plus side though, the derby guys 477 00:18:15,598 --> 00:18:17,165 threw me a very nice baby shower. 478 00:18:17,267 --> 00:18:19,500 And the strippers had what appeared 479 00:18:19,602 --> 00:18:21,436 to be full sex with each other. 480 00:18:21,538 --> 00:18:22,670 - [BIRDS CHIRPING] - Mmm. 481 00:18:22,772 --> 00:18:24,406 Is it the explosive preservatives 482 00:18:24,507 --> 00:18:26,007 that make it taste so good? 483 00:18:28,245 --> 00:18:30,044 Whoa! It's Snot and his mom! 484 00:18:30,146 --> 00:18:31,245 They're in trouble. 485 00:18:31,247 --> 00:18:36,817 ♪ 486 00:18:36,919 --> 00:18:38,252 This Headband to Pavement Pouncer 487 00:18:38,354 --> 00:18:39,820 or any other trucker out there. 488 00:18:39,922 --> 00:18:41,355 Shut the door and sit on the toilet, 489 00:18:41,457 --> 00:18:43,790 'cause I've got some friends deep in donkey-doo, over. 490 00:18:43,892 --> 00:18:45,792 PAVEMENT POUNCER: That's a big 10-4, Headband. 491 00:18:45,894 --> 00:18:48,395 Four hot shovels coming your way. 492 00:18:48,497 --> 00:18:51,332 I see you now. And you're bringing a great big convoy... 493 00:18:51,434 --> 00:18:53,600 Whoa, whoa, whoa! You can't say that word! 494 00:18:53,702 --> 00:18:55,002 We're nothing like that song! 495 00:18:55,104 --> 00:18:57,409 - What song? - Not this one! 496 00:18:58,941 --> 00:19:00,941 ♪ We got a big group of tru-ucks ♪ 497 00:19:01,043 --> 00:19:02,909 ♪ That means more than one truck ♪ 498 00:19:03,012 --> 00:19:05,411 ♪ Yeah, we got a big group of tru-ucks ♪ 499 00:19:05,514 --> 00:19:07,280 ♪ Usually four or five trucks ♪ 500 00:19:07,382 --> 00:19:09,616 ♪ C'mon and join our big group of trucks ♪ 501 00:19:09,718 --> 00:19:11,184 ♪ This time it's only four trucks ♪ 502 00:19:11,286 --> 00:19:12,151 [HORN HONKS] 503 00:19:12,253 --> 00:19:15,555 ♪ Tru-ucks ♪ 504 00:19:19,227 --> 00:19:20,326 What the hell? 505 00:19:20,428 --> 00:19:23,463 Guess it's up to us to get that Donkey off his tail. 506 00:19:23,565 --> 00:19:26,232 Hey, honey! Smoke 'em if you got 'em! 507 00:19:26,334 --> 00:19:28,134 [LAUGHING] Oh, yeah! 508 00:19:31,507 --> 00:19:32,939 [BOTH GROANING] 509 00:19:33,041 --> 00:19:40,278 ♪ 510 00:19:40,381 --> 00:19:41,981 SNOT: Whoo-hoo! 511 00:19:42,082 --> 00:19:44,249 ♪ 512 00:19:44,351 --> 00:19:45,584 There's Keebla! 513 00:19:45,686 --> 00:19:48,153 You caught 'em, Schmuley, now take 'em out! 514 00:19:48,255 --> 00:19:51,123 ♪ 515 00:19:51,225 --> 00:19:52,858 Foot on the dash? [GASPS] 516 00:19:52,960 --> 00:19:56,061 You're doing the Skidrokyo Drift! 517 00:19:56,163 --> 00:19:57,863 [TIRES SCREECH] 518 00:19:57,965 --> 00:19:59,532 ♪ 519 00:19:59,634 --> 00:20:03,435 Whoooooooaaaa. 520 00:20:03,538 --> 00:20:06,405 ♪ 521 00:20:06,507 --> 00:20:08,472 [LAUGHS] 522 00:20:08,575 --> 00:20:10,575 Oh, no, you missed. 523 00:20:10,677 --> 00:20:13,077 No, I didn't, Mom. 524 00:20:16,016 --> 00:20:17,081 For me? 525 00:20:17,083 --> 00:20:19,183 But why didn't you Skidrokyo Keebla? 526 00:20:19,285 --> 00:20:20,685 Screw Keebler. 527 00:20:20,787 --> 00:20:22,620 And screw the Red Rammer. 528 00:20:22,722 --> 00:20:23,955 I don't want it. 529 00:20:24,057 --> 00:20:28,059 That's Dad's car, and I'm letting it go. 530 00:20:28,161 --> 00:20:30,795 - Why? - 'Cause Dad let us go. 531 00:20:30,897 --> 00:20:34,165 He bailed on us... but you stuck around. 532 00:20:34,267 --> 00:20:36,534 And you're the only dad I need. 533 00:20:36,636 --> 00:20:38,870 Oh! 534 00:20:38,972 --> 00:20:41,573 Now let's clock some driving hours 535 00:20:41,675 --> 00:20:45,109 so I can sign your permit paper. 536 00:20:45,211 --> 00:20:49,313 Wow, I thought this moment would be more powerful for me. 537 00:20:49,415 --> 00:20:52,983 Thought it would be a little more meaningful. 538 00:20:53,086 --> 00:20:55,453 [GASPS] There it is! 539 00:20:55,555 --> 00:20:58,389 There's that special feeling! 540 00:20:58,491 --> 00:21:00,324 Have a great night! 541 00:21:02,223 --> 00:21:04,233 - synced and corrected by sot26 - www.addic7ed.com